7 months.

Today marks 7 whole months that we have lived without you my darling.... 7 months since I've kissed the warm bridge of your nose....and breathed in the lavender scent of your hair. 

Oh how we miss you Adalyn! Each and every day. Time passing hasn't made your absence easier to bear... But slowly Daddy and I are finding what our new "normal" is.  As we drove home today, we saw the sun breaking through some gray clouds....it's rays were so beautifully bright. We smiled thinking of you dancing around in that light. 

Here are some of the pictures I took of you this week last year! 

The past week has been rather emotional sweet girl... Daddy and I moved out of Grandma and Grandpa's basement. We know it is the right step for us.....but it was still hard. With each box I packed of your things.....my tears fell like rain. I would think of you wearing each sweet outfit I was folding. I would think of bath time as I packed up you tub and folded your towel. I breathed in the milky smell of some of your clothes that I didn't wash after you went back home to heaven....

My tears continued to pour as I folded up the last pair of jammies that you wore...that morning you slipped away.... They still sat by the sink in the kitchen. We haven't had the heart to move them for 7 whole months...Daddy and I both sat with tears as we boxed up your medicines... Oh how we had hoped so deeply some of those medicines would help you! Help to give us more time with you...

We've been scared to move. Scared to move away from the home we had with you. Scared to move to a place that was empty....a place that held no memories for us..

First time outside. Hey Cutie Baby!

The past week, I've realized something though....with each thing I packed....even though my heart utterly ached for you...I felt so grateful that we had time with you. Time to make memories. Time to feel you. Time to watch you grow. Time to sing you countless songs. Time to blow raspberries on your little belly. Time to take you on walks through the park... Time to lay on the grass and look at the sky. Time to feel the shower of love you gave us. 

Moving into a new home can't take those memories away. Those memories can continue to fill our new home too.

We spent the day hanging up pictures of you throughout our new house.... It was good for our hearts Addie baby. It felt good to talk of our sweet memories of you. To talk of your little squeals....and how so often it felt like you were carrying on such a happy little conversation with us.

We miss you so deeply my sweet Adalyn Grace. There are still many things I don't understand... And some things that will take me an entire lifetime to come to terms with... What I do know is that you have given us such beautiful memories. Your love continues to be our strength each day.

As I was driving in the car today I found myself singing Amazing Grace....one of the songs I sang to you so many of our nights together...I haven't sang much since you've been gone...Or listened to much music...but today, I wanted to sing once more to you... Some of the lyrics hit my heart..

"Through many dangers, toils and snares
I have already come,
'Tis grace has brought me safe thus far
And grace will lead me home."

"The Lord has promised good to me
His word my hope secures;
He will my shield and portion be,
As long as life endures."

You have helped us be carried so far Addie baby. You have helped us to feel of what grace is...And as hard as our days may be now....I know there will be a day when our hearts are made whole again. A day when we will be together forever...With no good-byes... When grace truly will lead us home. Each night before we go to bed, we look at the picture we took the same day last year. You are so very loved. I will forever be grateful that God gave us you.

I read a quote by President Monson recently:

"We know that there are times when we will experience heartbreaking sorrow, when we will grieve, and when we may be tested to our limits. However, such difficulties allow us to change for the better, to rebuild our lives in the way our Heavenly Father teaches us, and to become something different from what we were—better than we were, more understanding than we were, more empathetic than we were, with stronger testimonies than we had before."

We are trying to rebuild our lives remembering each thing you taught us my darling. Your little body may have been fragile...but your spirit was and continues to be the brightest and strongest light. Please help us to feel you so very strongly in our need home. We know you are never far!

I can't wait for the day that I can once more kiss the little sweet bridge of your nose.

XO

Mommy

P.S..... I thought I should share some little videos of you Addie baby!

I love your little squeaky hiccups!

This lovely gem was taken just a few days after we brought you home! Your first time outside and you slept through it. My favorite quote from Daddy.."It's a really nice temperature" Still makes me laugh.