Worthwhile.

Life can be hard.

Really hard.

There comes moments when you completely doubt yourself. You feel like nothing you can do is right, overwhelmed with a sense of worthlessness and imperfection.

And often world wants you to stay feeling that way. Maybe even some people around you want you to be stuck with those feelings; whether they may be friends, family, or simply an acquaintance.

Because you're not good enough, right? Who are you to decide that you are worth something? Those around you are clearly the ones who would know your worth.

Wrong....wrong,...WRONG!!!

I have this on my mind all week, caught up in those same feelings like many of you have had. Feeling the struggle to know my worth....or even to know what my worth was....

And you know what I realized? My worth isn't something for someone else to decide. It is mine. God loves imperfect things with an incomprehensible measure.

To Him, I matter. He loves me. He believes in me. My purpose is great. 

Because at the end of the day, the world does not decide my worth. My past, present and future does not designate my worth. My worth does not come from what someone else thinks. My worth comes from my loving God....and from how He  sees me. And you know what? He will never sees me as my flaws, but he sees me as who I can become. He will always see my potential for greatness.

After all, God makes no mistakes.

So, I am not a mistake.

And neither are you. Whoever you are, who has stumbled across this. Your purpose is great. You have infinite worth. There is a reason you are here.

When you can't see that in yourself, know He does. Your story is a glorious one, with every chapter, with every heartbreak, with every trial. You are His. 

Happily ever after is real, for each of us.

One that note, since I have taken a rather long break from blogging....here are some photos from the past month! I am truly so blessed.

Becca Stewart came home! She is truly, incredibly amazing. I sure love her! Little does that cute boy know he has one of the coolest aunts.

We celebrated our first anniversary! I couldn't be happier! Though who knew cake isn't as great after 1 year? As you can see, we had quite an amazing anniversary dinner.

Oh Christmas. Truly the best time of the year! I feel like I blinked and it flew by. 

We were given matching sweats....I know what you're thinking....with how attractive we look....you want a pair of your own. 

I love this dashingly handsome man more than anything. He helps me learn even more what love is every day. 

Here's to a whole new year!

All Hallows Eve.

November! Hip hip hooray! 

I love November. 

I also loved October. 

Surprisingly, I even loved Halloween! 

(Gasp!) That may come as a shocker. Usually Halloween isn't my favorite. I mean, I love seeing little cute kids looking adorable in little costumes, I love that it means fall is here, and of course, pumpkins! However, I don't love scary things. Like spiders. And webs. And scary zombies. And men running around with chain saws. 

But this year, Halloween was pretty great! Maybe that's just because David and I think we're pretty fun people. Or because it ended up being a week of Halloween-ish events. 

We even dressed up. 

I thought we had a pretty good resemblance!

We started off our Halloween celebration by going to our ward Trunk or Treat. David made some chili for it. I voted it as my favorite. Not just because I'm biased....but because my taste buds fear spicy.....and every other chili was rocking the spicy. (A shout out to all you spicy lovers....I wish I could be as strong!)

Look at that pumpkin! Pure skill we have. Ok, so maybe you can't really tell what it is in the daylight....

But in the dark it is much better! Alright....now time for confession..... we used a stencil. Cheaters...I know.

Now, for the actual day of Halloween, we ended up staying at home.....eating a Halloween themed dinner. I even built a fort in resemblance of a cave. Sadly the fort isn't pictured. Though I'm a firm believer that expert fort builder should be allowed and applauded on a resume....

Last picture before his beard growing begins. Sigh. I will miss you clean shaven and kissable face! 

Now dear....if you read this....I promise I will still love your bearded face too!

Our menu included monster eyes, pumpkin, some mummies and some tombstone no bakes. 

 We tried listening to Halloween music.....but anything other than monster mash and thriller was too scary for my taste. Yep. I'll admit. I'm a big wimp. Maybe it's because I'm too hooked on Christmas music and it's non-zombie lyrics.

So long October! You were good to us. 

Dear David...

You make my day. Pretty much every day.

Even the moments that you don't even realize.

Like yesterday.....when you were brave enough to eat a bite of the truffles that I accidentally made with unsweetened chocolate. Let's be honest....even the trash can didn't want to eat those.

Or like this morning when dropping you off at school. You weren't embarrassed that some of your classmates were right there and my hair sort of looked like a frizzy version of Medusa....minus the snakes. You still gave me a smooch, got out of the car and headed off to class like the good little student you are.

And how you bring me up a cup of water before we go to bed...because you know how I can't fall asleep without water next to the bed. (Odd....maybe I'm subconsciously paranoid of dehydration).

The way you are so trained to get up right at your alarm. That amazes me every day. I'm a full supporter of the invention of the snooze button.

You've laughed at my jokes. I've had some good ones this week!

Or how you are in such a habit of opening my car door, that you accidentally opened it for one of the other guys in our ward when you went visiting people in the ward?

Because you let me ramble on and on when I'm really tired and not making any sense.....Or even make me brush my teeth when I'm half asleep. My teeth love you for helping with their cleanliness.

Or how about the fact that you can never say no to helping someone out? I especially love that one. Even if that means you get up extra early on Saturday to help clean the church.

And the past week.....how I've had moments of feeling like a little emotional? You always know how to make me feel better.

Oh.....and my favorite.....watching your face as you eat something really yummy. You get the cheesy, no teeth, grin while nodding your head up and down.

You are the best. I don't know what I'd do with out you.

I love you more than anything since ever. Over the moon. To infinity and beyond.

Ohhh fall....

This weather makes me feel like I could prance happily around throwing colored leaves into the air shouting praises that the heat has finally left!

But don't worry. I refrain.Only because there is a short supply of colored leaves... Surprisingly enough....the desert here doesn't have too much of a change in color. It is still wonderful though!

Mr. Brown and I quite love this weather.....sometimes....and right now it still is only sometimes....I even wear a jacket. (Gasp! I know!)

Even though October seems to be flying by fast then I can think to blink (did you catch that really great rhyme)....we've still be able to do some fun things!

We took a short trip to Boulder City.... I love that little (kind of big) town!

We ate at this gem of a place

And because we are rather amusing people......

We took lots of photos while waiting for our food! How could you resist faces like these?

I know what you're thinking.....why do people always take pictures of their food!? Well. Simply because of those adorable mason jars. 

Next on our October agenda, David got to baptize one of the little girls in our primary!

Have I mentioned how much we love our ward?

We were released from our calling as primary leaders.....and then called to be ward missionaries. Now we get to hang out with lovely ladies like this throughout the week! I write about this more in another post.

Now...for those of you who haven't started counting yet.....only 63 days until Christmas! Which of course means....I've already been busting out the Christmas music this month. David however...is trying unsuccessfully to avoid my holiday music outburst (he thinks successfully....sorry dear if you end up reading this....you're just not too great at being a grinch!) 

Happy fall adventures! 

Half.

I know it's been about a month, but I felt like 13 miles is story worthy.

I'm not a huge distance runner. I'm usually perfectly content with a 5K.

However, one of my new year resolutions was to run a half marathon. I had to prove to myself that I could do it.. So this past summer..I became friends with the treadmill, some new running shoes, and sweat. (Vegas summers are not sport friendly).

I hired a trainer.

Ok ok....that was a lie. David won the duty of being my trainer and support.....either listening to me whine about blisters, giving me tips on what to to better and even rubbing my feet. (That's true love!)

Game day. I was scared and excited out of my mind. Did I mention I had left my running shoes in Las Vegas? Yes. That meant I was wearing brand new shoes. Ouch!

This may seem silly to some to associate running with an emotional experience, but this time, it was. 13 Miles seemed like a giant mountain to me. Almost insurmountable.

In the beginning, things were great! Half the race flew by before I even realize it. Then... I felt as if a ran into a big fat metal wall going full force. It became hard. My legs felt like they were going fall off. My arms were sore. I was exhausted. However, each time I felt like stopping, my new friend kept me from it. (Probably because I wouldn't start again).

By the 12th mile.....I was convinced I wouldn't make it. I felt like there were 13 more miles in that last mile! As much as I wanted to, I didn't quit! I did it. In that last .1 mile, hearing all of these wonderful people cheering....made me feel like I could do anything! Not to mention seeing my family. I felt so loved!

In that time, I realized I can do hard things. Even if that means running 13 more miles. Of course there are going to be plenty of hard things to overcome in this life. At times, those things may seem insurmountable or impossible. There will be multiple times when giving up seems much better. But in the end, it's love and a whole lot of prayer that pulls you through.

I'm blessed to have amazing friend! A shout out to my new friend Catherine for being such a support! Especially those last few miles!

(Ignore the socks..) I couldn't have done it without him! 

They even gave me hugs when I was sweaty. What an amazing family I have!

I'm amazed by these girls! (Note...this was also Jordan's first trip to Utah!!)

Now it is pretty much fall here in good old Nevada....

And I couldn't be happier. 

Time for Christmas songs...cookies....pumpkins...fudge....cinnamon rolls...

Living in a Whirlwind!

The past few weeks have been such a blur! I'm beginning to think I know what Dorothy in OZ felt like when she got picked up by the tornado...

David and I are back at the old plow.....which is small town code for....we're both back to work and school. Even me! Back in school! Okay....so maybe it's just online...and my quite possibly even my "first day of school outfit" was my pj's.. But I am still excited about it.

These days have consisted of work, running...and then "school." Only to come back home and feel ready for bed at 8:30. What can I say.....I'm a real party animal. Did I mention I'm running my first half marathon in two days??  Yes.....that would be 13.1 miles of pure....hmmm...well I'm not exactly sure yet. I don't think bliss or happiness would be the words to use there. I am rather excited to prove to myself that I can do it. Even if I do cross the finish line needing a hip and knee replacement. Good thing I married a physical therapist! He has been doing triple time as student, therapist and trainer for me.

On a different note..with all the rain we have been getting lately.... I can't help but miss our California adventure to see Heather and Mckay a few weeks ago! Even though it was a short trip....we had a blast

Trust me. After these photos....you'll wish you had been there too!

You haven't had a real day at the beach until someone gets covered in sand.

I think this turned out to be a sand alligator protecting the castle!

I love this! I would run too....Seaweed..yikes! I'm convinced seaweed are simply miniature minions of the Lochness Monster in disguise. Why else would one get so entangled in it?

Oh how I loved the beach! Especially with these two! 

He's my favorite! Also...note the pier in the background...and the Ferris wheel. A  shout out to Heather for talking us into riding it! 

We absolutely loved all of our end of summer vacations....even if it seemed we were here, there and everywhere. We got to see just about every member of both our families!

Well. I think I have succeeded in prolonging my packing long enough. Cedar Half? Bring it on.


Until next time!