Jump.

"Are you scared?"

I was recently asked this question at church by a wonderful woman who has a son and daughter in law facing a similar situation to our own.

Honestly....yes. 

This is it. This is the week that we have anticipated for the past 9 months. We have felt every emotion possible a thousand different times it feels like....especially these past few months.

I remember back in August....back when I first thought I was pregnant. I had decided to wait until the morning to take the test. I hadn't told David what I was doing....I wanted it to be a surprise. All night long I waited excitedly. By 4:30am.....I couldn't wait any longer....and took the test. Little could I ever fathom how a little positive plus sign could change our entire lives in the course of 9 months. 

I look back at myself in that moment.... Bursting with excitement. Thinking of how I was going to tell David....bursting with more excitement at the thought of telling him....at the thought of him being a dad!

I wish I could tell myself in that moment to buckle up. That this was going to be the ride of a lifetime.

I would tell myself that it was going to be a beautiful ride. We would learn to pray with our whole soul for a little girl that we hadn't met yet. We would find an overpowering love our little baby who had found a permanent spot in our hearts. We would feel humbled. We would at times feel helpless.... but we would never have to face this ride alone. 

Our little girl is already loved so much by so many people......especially David and I. 

Yes.....we are at times scared. Scared at what could happen. Scared at what our little girl may face. Scared to think of the road ahead.

But love and hope help to silence those scared feelings. We are going to be parents. We will get to see our little girl's beautiful face and finally hold her in our arms. She has been our miracle. She has been our light.

So....with that...I try to take a deep breath....(or a hundred)...and jump into this week.

David will be taking his board exams (to top everything off).

We will have to be deciding on  he job offers we have received.

And we have an induction date for this week. No pressure right?? It definitely makes me tempted to stay hidden under a pile of blankets...

I am amazed at David every day. I know he has felt the burdens and weight piling on his shoulders. Yet no matter how hard things have been.... or how emotional some days feel...he keeps walking forward. That, I  am certain, is true strength.

It is okay to be afraid. It is okay to cry. It is okay to feel helpless. But don't let those feelings control you. Christ will carry you. He has felt the sorrows of your heart. He knows the times when you are uncertain of yourself or uncertain of your faith.  He also knows something we forget....that you are enough. No matter if your faith is that of a giant....or feeling like a little seed.....He will take that and turn it into something beautiful if we let Him. He will be the strength that we need to keep walking forward.

The doctors here have been wonderful. Our little girl will definitely been well taken care of. We will try to be posting updates to our blog.....that way it is easier to update everyone at once.

I have no doubt that our lives will definitely never be the same again after this week. 

I cannot thank you enough for your continued prayers. For believing in our little girl.
We can never thank our family (and friends) enough for all they have done. They have truly helped to carry us when we have needed it most. Not to mention....have housed us (remember how we're still slightly nomads?)....have fed us....prayed for us..and so much more.

Here we go!!