Milestones.

Some days....I forget there is life outside of the NICU as of late.

We have been here for 16 days. Which...in retrospect...doesn't seem like much. After all, some parents are here for months.

Today though, I am grateful for milestones and miracles. 

Milestone #1 
Our days begin by 7am as we head to be to the hospital in time for Adalyn's first feeding. Our conditions for going home all depend on her feedings. We pray with all our hearts that she can work up to taking all of her feedings orally...and not through her N/G tube.

For Adalyn, this is a giant mountain. She has a bilateral cleft...which means her nasal cavity and mouth are all the same opening.

However...they have a special bottle for babies with cleft palate. And despite all odds...Adalyn is doing awesome with it! She is up to 30% of all her food by mouth...which is HUGE!

She works so hard. Eating from this bottle isn't easy. She has to take breathing breaks and make sure she swallows down her throat instead of pushing it up her nose. She also has to avoid her N/G tube and oxygen cannula to be able to get the milk. Even with all of these obstacles.. she is doing great. Improving and getting stronger each day!

We have no doubt that she can get up to full oral feeds. We believe in her so much! Though if she hasn't made it to full oral feeds by the end of this week....they will put a G-tube in her stomach.

This will help us to go home....and then if that is the case...we will continue to work on oral feeds once we are home. We know the G-tube is a possibility......but my heart aches at the thought of it. We don't want to have to watch her go through surgery already...

So....we continue to pray. Miracles happen every day. The fact that she is already doing so much is impressive to everyone. Even her nurses cheer her on.....I love it.

Adalyn has what I call true strength. She inspires us each day. She reminds us that we can do hard things. That giving up is not an option. She presses forward. Even on the days when they have so much tape on her mouth..she works on the bottle. Not only is there tape for her N/G tube...but also for her oxygen cannula. They have also started taping her cleft lip. This is to begin stretching the tissue...eventually for surgery. 

The first time they applied the tape for her cleft....it was a little sloppy....though even with tape all over she still looks so cute!

Milestone #2

David....or as I should rightly say...Dr. Brown...has graduated from physical therapy school. He officially has his doctorate degree. I am so incredibly proud of him! He has spent countless hours the past 3 years learning...working...learning...stressing....and learning some more.

The past two weeks were especially hard with David having to be in Vegas for part of the week.. Not just dealing with school....but also having to leave Adalyn and I here...knowing we would be facing hard days without him.  I will forever be grateful for his classmates and our friends who gave him a place to stay....made sure he ate....or simply just cared enough to be there.  

David drove back up to be with Adalyn and I on Friday....Missing his graduation ceremony. Still thinking of that...part of me is sad. During PT school...I looked forward to seeing him finish. To watch him walk in those cheesy graduation outfits.....cheer him on.....and snap a million pictures. But because David has the biggest heart of anyone I know....He spent his graduation day with me and little Adalyn in the NICU.

This is what our days sometimes look like. Melts my heart. 

That night after we left the hospital....we held our own mini graduation ceremony in our room....Towels for his cap and his NICU lanyard for cords....with me humming the tune for the walking progression... and giving a mock "dean" speech.

It is safe to say it definitely wasn't as fancy as the real things... but at least we got to be together. Each day I am coming to realize that life doesn't go as planned. Having our little Adalyn didn't happen as I had planned. David graduating didn't go as planned...

However...I have also come to realize the beautiful moments in the "unplanned."  Sure it is hard....it throws you for a whirlwind as you try to regain even just an ounce of balance....

But in the moments I watch David and Adalyn doze off together.....or watch as she stares with wonder at her little world.....or feel her little hand squeeze my finger....It is all worth it. It is beautiful. 

It helps us hold to hope. 

We both long for the day we get to leave. We long to start being a family...just the three of us....without beeping monitors....faces full of tape.....and cafeteria food.

But we are trying each day to be grateful for the here and now. We try not to let ourselves be scared of whatever the future may bring.

We have been strengthened so much from all the support and prayers on our behalf. After sharing our last blog post....David and I felt overwhelmingly humbled and grateful as we read through such amazing comments and through the messages we received.

Never in a million years would we have expected to feel carried by so many people. By strangers....friends....family.... We are in awe and more thankful than words could ever describe. We see the answers to so many of your prayers daily.

Life throws lots of curve balls. But I see every day that God will never fail to send you the strength you need to keep moving forward....even when you feel your legs are too weak....too exhausted....

He is in the details. It's us that just have to remember to look.  As my sister frequently says....He will give us the grace we need to get through.

She definitely has her daddy's hair!