May 2, 2017

Because of You

Happy Birthday my sweet Adalyn Grace!

How is it possible that you are 2 already?


Every part of me sure wishes that we could have spent the day watching you run around and play...getting messy cake and ice cream finger prints over everything you touched. What I would give to see your dark hair, bright blue eyes and smiling face!

We didn't want to spend the day being sad.. Though, I'll be honest here...I did shed a number of tears. Instead, we had a party to celebrate you. To celebrate the day you came into our world....and all of the ways you have changed our lives. The day you were born was incredibly special. That day, I saw firsthand that miracles are real.



I wanted to let you know a few of the many beautiful gifts that came into our lives because of you.

Because of you:

  • I learned what it felt like to become a mother.
  • I learned to pray hard....desperately, sincerely, frustratingly..and eventually....humbly.
  • I felt what the scripture "Perfect love casteth out fear" meant. The moment you were born and I heard that perfect cry, my fears went right out the door.  I was absolutely encompassed in love. Love for your Daddy. Love for God. Most of all...love for you.
  • I learned that the purest strength lies in the heart of babies like you.
  • I realized that physical disabilites cannot restrain the ability of the spirit to love...Goodness how your love was so strong!
  • I was taught to focus on the moment I was in. I clung to moments of feeling your softness in my arms....To lavender scented baths...walks in the park...and your sleepy sighs. 
  • I learned to fight for the ones you love the most, even when all seems to be against you. 
  • I learned it was possible to feel depths of love that words could never fully describe. 
I realized that hope isn't just a passive belief, it becomes a rod that one holds to desperately.

Giving you back into the arms of angels is the absolute hardest thing my heart has ever endured.... Even so Adalyn, I would never take back one second of our time with  you. I could go on forever on all of the ways your beautiful life has changed me.

Because of you, I have been changed for the better. I like to hope that I am a better mother for Camon because of you.


So until we can celebrate with you....

Happy Birthday my darling! You are the bravest, most graceful, loving and noble soul that I have ever known. How lucky I feel to have held heaven in my arms!

I hope that today you felt how much and how deeply you are loved.

I continue to see you in every soft sunset. Every warm breeze. Every simple, quiet moment. Every stare into Camon's big blue eyes. I miss you Addie baby, so very very much.

 XO,

Mommy




We had a fairy party for you sweet babe, I like to think you and your angel friends stopped by!




Camon sure had fun celebrating too!

But his fist is still 

We sent off balloons and sang you Happy Birthday! You are so loved! 



1 comment:

  1. I have been following your blog for awhile. I was so sad when your precious baby died. My brother just recently lost his son who was 3 years old. He also lives in your area. What is amazing about him and his family and you is how strong you guys are. Of course there is tears and always will be but isn't it great to have the knowledge that one day we will see these precious children again. Families are together forever

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